Matters of The Heart: The Past

Sitting on my comfy leather chair, thoughts of my life began to flash in my mind's eye. When you accidently mess something up and start to blame yourself for the spilled milk, encouragers would often tell you to forget about the past and move on. After 21 years of being a human, I figure that it is impossible to forget about our past. The only way to forget the past is to bang your head against the wall repeatedly till you become unconscious or you can pray hard that God would miraculously delete certain days of your life that you wish for it to be vanished.

Handling the past would be a lot easier than forgetting the past. I once made countless wrong decisions and it messed me upside down. I cannot heal my previous mistakes now, all I can do is to accept that I have done something wrong and try my very best not to commit the same thing again.

Many people would fall into depression due to a heavy dosage of guilt in their soul. Guilt kills slowly, eating your heart bit by bit till it becomes numb, clouding your mind with darkness till everyday becomes a rainy day and guilt destroys the human spirit, converting it into a spirit of shame and death.

The cure for the "guilt monster of the past" is not to have brain washing sessions for you to forget your dark days because the common human brain cannot forget whenever we want. The only cure would be forgivessness towards yourself, having dreams and visions and being able to look forward to the next day knowing that life has more than it seems.

Easy to say but hard to do. This is life, nothing is easy. It can happen only if you're willing to step out and make a difference. Here's a piece of reality - Stand up and start walking, if not, sit down and wait for death.

The Past Constantly Makes An Unplesant Noise In Our Heads,
It Is Only A Self Made Visionized Future That Could Shut It Up.

- Roy